The Bro Code

Pillows

2012-01-01T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am Vineet’s plagued cough. I reek of the weariness of life’s discrepancies; conflicting emotions and such. The things that make you grimace at your achievements and retrospect your influences. I remind you of that song which you have deleted from your iPod, for obvious reasons. The one which leaves a bitter taste in the mouth with the flood of memories it brings back. I conceal all positivity, make a mockery of happiness. I make you double-check whether you should be wearing that smile on your face.

I am Vineet’s heightened sense of displeasure. I am every decision in your life you wish you could take back. I am the look which messes up your chain of thought, makes you shuffle uneasily. I am the gesture of detachment, the one that makes you cut the call midway, even though you never like doing it. I am the No Entry sign on the doorstep, restricting your freedom, warning you of impending consequnces. I am the sound of balloons deflating, engines shutting down, crowds being silenced.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.”

- The Beatles

Muffballs

2011-12-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the future. Nothing's changed, really. Snow White is still missing, HTML is still a lost art, and the grass is STILL greener on the other side. Oh AND xkcd.com is still the shizz. But the whole being the change thing is NOT working, dude. I've tried. Seriously. But it is becoming close to impossible to convince people that chocolate is degenerating with mass consumerism. Ferrero Rocher has been and will be wrapped in neat little gold wrappers. And no one gives two shits about how it tastes. Not that it tastes bad. But it tastes the SAME.

Ciao. TC. Peace out.

Down That Road Again

2011-12-22T02:04:00.000-08:00

I am reminded of the times when you used to make my heart skip a beat for all the wrong reasons. When your delicate intrusions seemed to tilt the balance of my meticulously laid out life. When the word 'us' implied the authority to tread all over each other's conscience. And I find myself having to reiterate over and over again.

I am content with the particular way my CDs are stacked. I am more than satisfied at having my shirt thrown over the chair. Or talking the way I talk. This tunnel of love has enough space for the both of us. We are more than one. I can't have you turning into another me. Just one was getting annoying as it is.

"And I don't know where I'll be tonight,
but I'll always tell you where I am."
- Dire Straits

A Story For a Bubblegum

2011-11-25T11:25:00.001-08:00

ONCE UPON A TIME. There was this little girl called Bez. She loved wearing scarves, washing dishes and cracking the lamest jokes and laughing at it herself. She lived in a little cottage made of piled up books with her brother Facepalm. Now, Facepalm couldn't stand the thought of letting Bez out of her sight. So he used have a little toy cart in which he sat, and Bez used to pull it around wherever they went.

One day, Bez was reading Mr. Pip while sitting beneath her favourite Gulmohar tree, when there comes along a man in a flawless white shirt *insert rin supreme add here, for extra whiteness*. He offers her a bouquet of lillies, along with some (horrible horrible) mint chocolates.

"Would Mademoiselle like to try some? They're from a faraway land, way beyond the seven seas!"

Facepalm watches in dissaproval, as Bez tries the chocolate. (As quoted in Spider, "I can't believe I fall for chocolate!") A conversation strikes up and soon enough, Bez is lost in the wonderful (hypnotic) whiteness of JF's (or so he says) shirt. Facepalm completely forgotten, she wanders off hand in hand with JF, through the forests of orange blossoms.

As Facepalm begins to worry, he notices a bunch of paparazzi trying to sneak past unnoticed through the trees. His curiosity awakened, he starts pedaling (yes, my cart is awesome like that) silently after the stalkers and overhears some of the gossip.

"Hush! Your footsteps make enough noise to scare the mimosas!"
"Hush yourself! We need a shot of JF without his sword! The girl makes our job easier! This way we can tell everyone that our prince has run away with his love, and Sir *ahem* will be unopposed to the throne of Disneyland!"

Even with his tiny sense of sobriety, Facepalm realizes that whatever happens will not be for Bez's good. So he plans obstacles to throw in their path. After many failed attempts (which include giant headless gummy bears and several other of Facepalm's ingenious creations), Facepalm is at the brink of despair and decides to go to his thinking spot to do some serious thinking.

Meanwhile, at the other side, Bez is lost in her dreamland (yes, the hypnotic powers of the white shirt still prevail). They come to a beach and Bez insists on prancing around like a pixie horse in the water. She tugs at JF's shiny silver sword (with a large WD on it, and a mouse head) urging him to leave the sword and come into the water with her.

As JF unbuckles his sword (yes, his sword, NOT his belt, shameless girl), the stalkers creep closer, with DLSRs at the ready. Just at the right moment, Facepalm comes charging with his mushroom enhanced speed, and shoots post-its (the tiny yellow ones) on the screen of the cameras. His job done, he turns and looks at Bez with a straight face. But the enraged paparazzi, prepare to heave their DLSRs at Facepalm!

Bez notices the commotion, but realizes she can do nothing fast enough to save Facepalm. At the same time, Franco starts screaming for help! He's being trapped in the vicious undercurrents churned by Wartortle, Sir *ahem*'s powerful turtle minion.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO Facepalm?!? Will Bez be able to save JF from the clutches of his arch nemesis? Find out in the next episode of...

BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES.

Here We Go Again

2011-11-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

She whips her hair back and forth. And suddenly, everything that stops you from being whoever you want to be is swept away in the undercurrents of her scent.

A Bread Loaf

2011-11-18T12:50:00.000-08:00

1. A house in Ireland. (I'M SORRY! But it just HAD to top the list.)
2. A wharf besides a Scottish loch. Oh and and AND! A little blue boat with just one oar.
3. Someone's lap to sleep on.
4. Front row tickets to this year's Electric Daisy Festival.
5. One of those toy castles in Disneyland. (Somehow they ALWAYS look better than real ones.)
6. An electric car which still sounds like it has a petrol engine.
7. Everlasting headphones. The kind that NEVER gets spoilt.
8. A black kitten called Tabby. (It has to have the cutest paws EVER!)
9. Garden gnomes to fill the backyard of my Irish house with. And they have to be fun sized. So that Tabby can play with them.
10. A chessboard with all the pawns as figurines of people I don't like much.
11. You to get out of the shower.
12. A collection of every picture that was clicked at this EXACT moment all around the world.
13. A fish in the water and a lion in the jungle.
14. A normal broomstick called Firebolt.
15. A never-ending cookie jar.

(to be cont'd...)

Wandering Star

2011-10-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

"You take ownership of your innocence when you learn that your first time doesn’t have to be your last time. When someone shows up armed and ready to fight your predilection for distrust, and you, in turn, let your guard down because you desperately want that person to wage war with your common sense, there’s nothing more innocent than that."

Awww! That brings up like THE most adorable images in my head. Sigh.

Melody Nelson

2011-09-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

You need to surround yourself with such people. It is a necessity, or so you will discover. Because the path gets harder as we go on. There are obligations and expectations; social, personal. To be, you have to let go of all those. To live in the moment, we can't hold on to anything.

We need more Cole Strykers in this world.

Certaines choses peuvent vous surprendre, mais c'est comme ça.

Sugar Cubes

2011-09-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

"And our hearts move closer... at five centimeters per second."

A little nudge. The song you're currently addicted to. That movie you simply adored. That place that still haunts you. All those little things that you do to try and convey your mood to someone.

Because deep inside, you are dying for an appropriate response.

Not the right person. Just the right response.

Watermelon vs. Raspberry

2011-08-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

It's been hurting too often, of late. You don't have to add fuel to the fire. Either way, it's burning down. The question is how long do you want it to last? Burning man.

Radical Inclusion
Anyone may be a part of Burning Man. We welcome and respect the stranger. No prerequisites exist for participation in our community.

Decommodification
In order to preserve the spirit of gifting, Burning Man seeks to create social environments that are unmediated by commercial sponsorships, transactions, or advertising. We stand ready to protect our culture from such exploitation. We resist the substitution of consumption for participatory experience.

Radical Self-reliance
Burning Man encourages the individual to discover, exercise and rely on his or her inner resources.

Radical Self-expression
Radical self-expression arises from the unique gifts of the individual. No one other than the individual or a collaborating group can determine its content. It is offered as a gift to others. In this spirit, the giver should respect the rights and liberties of the recipient.

Communal Effort
Burning Man values creative cooperation and collaboration. Burning Man strives to produce, promote and protect social networks, public spaces, works of art, and methods of communication that support such interaction.

Civic Responsibility
Burning Man values civil society. Organizers of events should assume responsibility for public welfare and endeavor to communicate civic responsibilities to participants. They must also assume responsibility for conducting events in accordance with local, state and federal laws.

Leaving No Trace
Burning Man respects the environment. We are committed to leaving no physical trace of our activities wherever we gather. We clean up after ourselves and endeavor, whenever possible, to leave such places in a better state than when we found them.

Participation
Burning Man is committed to a radically participatory ethic. We believe that transformative change, whether in the individual or in society, can occur only through the medium of deeply personal participation. We achieve being through doing. Everyone is invited to work. Everyone is invited to play. We make the world real through actions that open the heart.

Immediacy
Immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture. We seek to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves, the reality of those around us, participation in society, and contact with a natural world exceeding human powers. No idea can substitute for this experience.

Vindictive

2011-08-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

Lil 'Arry

'Aggy lil 'Arry

First of all must go
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye
To your whispers in my dreams

And then our lips will part (no)
In my mind and in my heart
Cause your kiss
Went deeper than my skin

Ay what now?

Lemme tell you 'bout Harry
Harry was the only brit in school with his jeans baggy, hair nappy, teared khaki's,
He used to skateboard and smoke baccy.
Girls used to say: Why is Harry so unhappy?
But he weren't unhappy, he was just Harry.
Happy to chill and smoke weed in an alley.
In a bally told his friends he'd never marry.
No girls ever connect with him.
They never seem interested, they never interested him.
And all the girls in the school were so stuck up,
So caught up in material, it's fucked up.
He said one night, that he would search the world's end,
To find a delta esque(?) and intelligent girlfriend.
Next day, he was in the library, in Highberry
Checking out the X-men comics,
When his eyes done meet the most beautiful woman that he could ever dream of.
All he had to do was just speak to her.

First of all must go (yeah)
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye
To your whispers in my dreams
And then our lips will part (no)
In my mind and in my heart
Cos your kiss
Went deeper than my skin

Wow, her name was Misha, she was reading Nietzsche.
He said: my name is Harry but people call me weezah,
And nice to meet you.
He couldn't believe fate would play his cause like this,
He would find a girl so quick who had a heart like this.
He fell head over the heels for Misha,
All the other girls seemed 2D, she was 3D.
So much deeper, Jezus, she seemed so perfect.
Life turned beautiful, suddenly seeming worth it.
Misha said she worked with children.
Just turned nineteen, the older women got Harry turnin' decent.
They linked up a couple times after.
Her kiss was like a gift in a myth.
And amidst the laughter she said: You'd be a great father.
What?
This was getting deep, 'cause it would soon get harder.
As her face turned serious she said:
I lied to mask up, the fact I don't work with kids, I'm an erotic dancer.

Poor 'Arry

What's he gonna do now?
Met the love of his life and found out she's a stripper.

The chosen tribulations of a young man.
Thinking what do I do.
She's like the virgin Mary working as a prostitute.
What would you do if she was sweeter than the rest?
Deeper than the rest, but made a living off her breasts?
She said: Don't hate me, 'cause I already hate myself.
He said: I can't hate you, I love you, but fucking hell.
How am I supposed to sleep at night,
Knowing that you're out there skinning poor venitian guys.

That's what Misha said
I've gotta go working now, (?)
Poor Harry, he was just a good guy,
even though he loved her, he knew had to say goodbye.

(Misha on the phone)
Hi Harry, it's me, Misha.
Please don't be mad at me, can't you please pick up the phone?
It's just a job, I don't understand why you just... why you just can't get it.

Harry lived out his life in non-existence
tried to find another Misha, but no one's competition.
Once you find love and lost love, you don't feel anything, just nothing but some old blood
So he got a rope, and on a peice of paper wrote
"I cant cope on my own"
And cried as he put the rope around his throat,
And no one even heard the yell,
As he kicked the stool from underneath his burdened self

*gurgle*

Bus Tickets

2011-08-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, that feeling of being plane polarized seems to keep coming back to haunt me. It's very annoying. The things you do for a smooth slide back down, and ending up falling right off the edge of a cliff.

Apparently Egyptians monetize the capital gains of their system. Sigh. At least we now know for a fact that spinach rolls never fail to get the aliens. If only dimensions were arcane, just like Atlantis.

Benevolence has a limit. Have you never realized that revenge ages like wine. Those two are 'my' Dominie Dirtches. One ring and it's all over.

Ciao. TC. Peace out.

The Tooth Fairy

2011-07-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

Sigh. I need one of these kinda days.

Continuity

2011-07-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

There was this comic strip which showed a kid pondering whether a little dandelion he was holding actually contained another complete universe within itself. Maybe, if he stepped on it, that would mean a billion kazillion other planets all winking out of existence. They say time is the only absolute value on this planet. But how often has that class seemed to stretch for eternity. And how often has the last day with your love before a long stretch at home seemed to last only for seconds. Maybe somewhere out there, E!=MC2.

If there's ONE thing I completely and wholly believe from Hinduism, it's their concept of the wheel of time. Ages come and ages go. But everything seems to have this cycle. After a period of change, it all looks similar.

We're all little sinusoids, waiting to peak at the same time.

Hold On

2011-07-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

There is music for every mood. Sometimes I wonder how music is fast becoming a vital criteria for natural selection. Music runs half our social lives. Most of the time, it quite literally decides your liking of a particular person or the way you perceive a memory. And nothing associates to a memory better than music. It's scary. Like that line from Step Up, we all seem to have a rhythm inside. And the need to connect to it grows stronger by the second.

They say INFJs have this 'need' to connect emotionally on some level with every person. They refuse to settle for what they see on the surface. It usually ends up with them trying to artificially create depth where it isn't there, but that's a risk they seem content to live with. And suddenly there's a lack of people to connect with. When you realize that you have been perceiving a depth that isn't actually there, this urge to get away and not be 'wasted'. Four years is not a joke. It's up to us to remember the things that were worth remembering. Intuition has always been our best weapon after all.

The sun is shining everyday. Over the world, it's said.

אני יודע שאתה חיכה כל החיים שלך. חכה רגע, אני בא. חכי לי.

Discretion

2011-07-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

IT IS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT THAT YOU CAN NEVER MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!

We all walk the fine line between instinct and obligation. Mind it.

"We rode on the winds of the rising storm,
We ran to the sounds of thunder.
We danced among the lightning bolts,
And tore the world asunder."

A Dead Mouse

2011-06-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

So I'm an ailurophile. And I never knew. It sounds nice. Not many words starting with "ailu" anyway. That uniqueness seems to make it even more fascinating.

Apparently one of the fundamental human tendencies is to classify. So for today's classification, I shall divide the population of my image of this world into two; individualists and collectivists. Somehow, whoever came up with this ended up putting this whole field of study under political philosophy. How the significance of it in other fields seems to have escaped whomsoever it concerns is a complete mystery. You either do your own thing, or you do something you have learned from experience (a collective source).

This movie, a particular "Never Let Me Go", has just managed to completely wreck my emotional stability. Or instability. Either I feel very depressed about the movie, or I feel nothing at all. What I require is physical pain.

I recently came across this question, "What would you attempt if you knew you couldn't fail?" I pondered over this question for a long long while. And I mean a really long while. And you know, the feeling of finally stumbling upon a solution that satisfies you is sheer ecstasy. For fun's sake, I decided to post the question on facebook and wait for some replies. In my opinion, any answer to that question would be a fallacy. If there was no chance of a failure, there would be no sense of competition. If there was no sense of competition, there would be no incentive.

That reminds me, maybe I was wrong in that classification earlier. It's not the population that could be divided into individualists or collectivists. Rather, these two seem to form a fundamental and indivisible trait in each and every person. So rather than being a complete individualist, or a complete collectivist, your mind probably works x% in an individualist manner and y% in a collectivist manner. And that the ratio of these would probably be unique in every single human being.

Damn, now were going recursive.

Ciao. Peace.

Anonymous

2011-06-17T04:00:00.000-07:00

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

~ Letters I'll Never Send ~

Hannover

2011-06-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

Awake. At 6 in the morning. Listening to The Rain Song by Led Zepplin. Reading a bit of Oscar Wilde. And just having finished An Education. Hmmmm... how I love this false feeling of sophistication. It's a really mucky word that, sophistication. It means so much, and yet so much more. The rain is picking up. I should go make myself a cup of coffee.

There's something about living alone that seems very eccentric. The feeling can't quite be described. I just don't get the point of wasting your conscious life being "not" conscious. Long story. Don't bother arguing.

I guess to be agnostic is to know your own limitations. But then again, why would you want to limit yourself. Who are you to fix that "this line here, this is my limitation".

Chow... Tc... Peace out.

Teardrops

2011-06-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

"Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word."

I guess it's something you do unintentionally, subconsciously. If it weren't so, it would be blasphemy. There is so much, OH SO MUCH we all fail to appreciate. If only they could teach us how to not overlook those human errors at school. Now that would bee worth wasting half your life to learn. Because you know the other half will never ever disappoint.

Oh how I wish this smile never fades.

Love, Dragons and Twisted Things

2011-05-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

"People were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos,
is because things are being loved and people are being used."

Is every person worth loving in that way? To appreciate everyone, each for his or her own individuality is fine and all, but to love them? Is love that baseless a thing? Will not sharing it without restraint dim its value. And just imagine, if tomorrow it does not even have value, why will people even try to love.

Sometimes loving things seems a better choice. When that thing seems to immortalize your ideals, preserves it in a way no other thing can, especially not a person, doesn't it seem the right thing to do?

Chow... Tc... Peace out.

Blink

2011-05-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

"Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget"

It's not worth it to forget something with spite. To judge your memories is probably the biggest mistake you could make. To learn from your mistakes, you need to treasure them.

"Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Till they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye"

- Regina Spektor

The $h@dE gets Nyan'd

2011-05-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

So I din sleep. Like all night. Not a big thing. But yea.

True Story:

I was "Nyan"ing for the past hour or so and i come across this video of a reaction to the original... As soon as it starts the guy watching gets a seizure or something, throws his laptop out and starts rolling on the floor clutching his ears.

Exactly 2 seconds later, my computer crashes.

:| ... FML.

Chow... Tc... Peace Out.

Simplistic Beauty

2011-05-19T00:21:00.000-07:00

* DISCLAIMER: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. *

So I'm off on a search to rescue her. She has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster. This probably happened because I made a mistake. Not just one. I made many mistakes during the time we spent together, all those years ago. Memories of our relationship have become muddled, replaced wholesale, but one remains clear: her turning sharply away, her braid lashing at me with contempt. I know she tried to be forgiving, but who can just shrug away a guilty lie, a stab in the back? Such a mistake will change a relationship irreversibly, even if we have learned from the mistake and would never repeat it. Her eyes grew narrower. She became more distant. Our world, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving them too readily, we can be badly hurt. But if we've learned from a mistake and became better for it, shouldn't we be rewarded for the learning, rather than punished for the mistake? What if our world worked differently? Suppose I could tell her: 'I didn't mean what I just said,' and she would say: 'It's okay, I understand,' and she would not turn away, and life would really proceed as though we had never said that thing? We could remove the damage but still be wiser for the experience. Me and her, we lounge in our castle garden, laughing together, giving names to the colorful birds. Our mistakes are hidden from each other, tucked away between the folds of time, safe.

For a long time, I thought we had been cultivating the perfect relationship. I had been fiercely protective, reversing all my mistakes so they would not touch her. Likewise, keeping a tight rein on her own mistakes, she always pleased me. But to be fully couched within the comfort of a friend is a mode of existence with severe implications. To please you perfectly, she must understand you perfectly. Thus you cannot defy her expectations or escape her reach. Her benevolence has circumscribed you, and your life's achievements will not reach beyond the map she has drawn. I needed to be non-manipulable. I needed a hope of transcendence. I needed, sometimes, to be immune to the Princess's caring touch. Off in the distance, I saw a castle where the flags flutter even when the wind has expired, and the bread in the kitchen is always warm. A little bit of magic.

Visiting my home for a holiday meal, I felt as though I had regressed to those long-ago years when I lived under my parents' roof, oppressed by their insistence on upholding strange values which, to me, were meaningless. Back then, bickering would erupt over drops of gravy spilt onto the tablecloth. Escaping, I walked in the cool air toward the university I'd attended after moving out of my parent's home. As I distanced myself from that troubling house, I felt the embarrassment of childhood fading into the past. But now I stepped into all the insecurities I'd felt at the university, all the panic of walking a social tightrope. I only felt relieved after the whole visit was over, sitting back home in the present, steeped in contrast I saw how I'd improved so much from those old days. This improvement, day by day, takes me ever-closer to finding her. If she exists - she must! - she will transform me, and everyone. I felt on my trip that every place stirs up an emotion, and every emotion invokes a memory: a time and location. So couldn't I find her now, tonight, just by wandering from place to place and noticing how I feel? A trail of feelings, of awe and inspiration, should lead me to that castle in the future, her arms enclosing me, her scent fills me with excitement, creates a moment so strong I can remember it in the past. Immediately I walked out my door, the next morning, toward whatever the new day held. I felt something like optimism.

She never understood the impulses that drove me, never quite felt the intensity that, over time, chiseled lines into my face. She never quite felt close enough to me - but I held her as though she were, whispered into her ear words that only a soul mate should receive. Over the remnants of dinner, we both knew the time had come. I would have said: 'I have to go find her,' but I didn't need to. Giving a final kiss, hoisting a travel bag to my shoulder, I walked out the door. Through all the nights that followed, she still loved me as though I had stayed, to comfort her and protect her.

Perhaps in a perfect world, the ring would be a symbol of happiness. It's a sign of ceaselessness devotion: even if I will never find her, I will always be trying. I still will wear the ring. But the thing makes its presence known. It shines out to others like a beacon of warning. It makes people slow to approach. Suspicion, distrust. Interactions are torpedoed before I can open my mouth. In time I learn to deal with others carefully. I match their hesitant pace, tracing a soft path through their defenses. But this exhausts me, and it only works to a limited degree. It doesn't get me what I need. I begin to hide the ring in my pocket. But I can hardly bear it - too long tucked away, that part of me might suffocate.

- A slightly modified excerpt from Braid

Left-Wing Politics

2011-05-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's annoying to see someone stuck in a particular phase in life. They jus't keep going in circles, from one obsession to another. It's worst when you realize that you were once part of that vicious circle. Not because you regret it. Definitely not that. You might have enjoyed every single moment of it, maybe a little too much, cause you let those memories make a very deep impression on you. And to see someone play around with those memories is not fun.

I have to come to terms with myself. To accept that it's time you stand up for your priorities. I feel like a Marxist in the modern Russian Republic.

Understanding in the end seems to be the pure essence of life. How you percieve. Without it we're all just a bunch of degenerates.

Peace.

Momma Said

2011-05-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

Changes come. Life will have it's way, with your pride son. Take it like a man.

Keep your dignity. Take the higher road.

Just like the rain, this too shall pass. It's just a broken heart, son. This pain will pass away.

Into oblivion.

Peace out...

A Feel of Things

2011-05-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

"Faith and feelings are the warm marrow of evil. Unlike reason, faith and feelings provide no boundary to limit any delusion, any whim. They are a virulent poison, giving the numbing illusion of moral sanction to every depravity ever hatched.

Faith and feelings are the darkness to reason's light.

Reason is the very substance of truth itself. The glory that is life is wholly embraced through reason, through this rule. In rejecting it, in rejecting reason, one embraces death."

Don't say you don't have the strength to do it. You just don't want to. It's not worth the effort for you. You need to find a meaning for things again. Dismissing everything with contempt will get you nowhere. If you listen hard enough, you will realize that your heart and mind speak the same language. Wake up from this illusion. Or drown in it.

Chow... Peace out...

Game Theory

2011-01-17T10:04:00.000-08:00

A girl slapped me today… It felt weird. Not bad. Just weird.
Like she didn’t slap me hard enough.

Somebody taught me to appreciate coincidences. But it was too late when I realized that she herself was lost in them. I appreciated coincidences. She was obsessed with them. Till a point where it had no meaning anymore.

Everything has a price. You just have to get the best bargain.

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain…

Mia Dovienya Nesodhin Soende

2010-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

Balance

To know you will cut yourself on the blade of truth...

Balance

To feel the wound yet still walk on...

Balance

To acknowledge that these wounds never heal...

.
.
.
.

Slip... Shatter... Fade... Forever

Juice It Up!

2010-12-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

Amounts per 1 cup (112g)

Calorie Information
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Calories325(1361 kJ)16%
From Carbohydrate95.4(399 kJ)
From Fat72.4(303 kJ)
From Protein157(657 kJ)
From Alcohol0.0(0.0 kJ)

Carbohydrates
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Total Carbohydrate26.8g9%
Dietary Fiber4.0g16%
Starch~
Sugars3.5g

Fats & Fatty Acids
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Total Fat8.6g13%
Saturated Fat3.0g15%
Monounsaturated Fat0.8g
Polyunsaturated Fat2.3g
Total trans fatty acids~
Total trans-monoenoic fatty acids~
Total trans-polyenoic fatty acids~
Total Omega-3 fatty acids922mg
Total Omega-6 fatty acids1404mg

Protein & Amino Acids
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Protein64.4g129%

Vitamins
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Vitamin A638IU13%
Vitamin C11.3mg19%
Vitamin D~ ~
Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol)5.6mg28%
Vitamin K28.6mcg36%
Thiamin2.7mg178%
Riboflavin4.1mg242%
Niacin14.4mg72%
Vitamin B60.4mg20%
Folate105mcg26%
Vitamin B120.0mcg0%
Pantothenic Acid3.9mg39%
Choline73.9mg
Betaine~

Minerals
Amounts Per Selected Serving%DV
Calcium134mg13%
Iron31.9mg177%
Magnesium218mg55%
Phosphorus132mg13%
Potassium1527mg44%
Sodium1174mg49%
Zinc2.2mg15%
Copper6.8mg342%
Manganese2.1mg106%
Selenium8.1mcg12%
Fluoride~

...

I found the missing ingredient...

A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE!

chow... tc... peace out...

Regrets...

2010-11-23T04:49:00.000-08:00

Never let something go, unless you have some control over it...

Possession is everything.

Milder Senses

2010-10-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

In my shoes just to see
What it’s like to be me
I’ll be you, lets trade shoes
Just to see what it be like to
Feel your pain, you’ll feel mine
We’ll go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Looking through each others eyes

Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

To Dez,
You complete me. We're more than one.

To Anand,
I wanna go back to 7th standard man. It's not a regret. It's a state of mind.

To Nag,
Welcome to wherever you are. Maybe the baby pool was better than swimming in the ocean.

To Ash,
The tequila can't get to you if you don't let it.

To Pra,
One's character is one's own defense. No one can pull that mask off but you.

To AP,
Those neurons are glued. We all walk down the same path.

To Uttam,
Blood doesn't dissolve righteous fury. Only patience can.

To Mani,
In the end, we all love Ceaser.

To Arvind,
I finally got out of it. One day you will too.

To Rashmi,
You are present, but asleep. In the end, we all have to wake up.

To Warren,
I found the needle in the haystack. Even Joseph's huh.

To Sarah,
Discovery does not sponsor ignorance.

To Suddy,
Mental clairvoyance doesn't exist anymore. Even God doesn't value it.

To Abhilash,
You listen to the soul. But does it listen to you?

Chow... TC... Peace out...

Peak Amplitudes

2010-10-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ah... the positive highs...

1. Never wish away the past.
2. Headbanging with dope... try it faster!
3. Accepted, but not yet believed...
4. Induction! It's the next BIG thing!
5. It's tan 60... no wait... maybe tan 70...

High above...

2009-08-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

First a dream
Then comes life...

Philosophically negentropic
Religiously entropic
The shelter of one thought is a jail for the mind
Be aware of what you need
Be a temple of your own...

Have you ever wondered what you really want
When it all comes down, it comes down to this.

- the archangel of death

Denial...

2009-08-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

And so were back to square 1...

who can we trust???

I Miss You...

2009-06-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire

- Ryan Adams

Death before Physics...

2009-05-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

"If there is no other pill to take, swallow the one that made you ill."

- RATM

The Mariana Trench...

2009-04-05T05:36:00.000-07:00

Today's been officially THE MOST jobless day Ive had ever since iv come to Manipal... actually in my life... absolutely useless..

Have you heard the news?
Bad things come in twos
But i never knew
'Bout the little things.
Every single day
things get in my way.
Someone has to pay
for the little things.

Let the headlines wait,
armies hesitate,
I can deal with fate
but not the little things.
Armageddon may
arrive any day.
I can't get away
from the little things.

Come on... every damn second spent after waking up has been a drag... might as well as not have woken up at all..

People
They don't mean a thing to you
They move right through you
Just like your breath
But sometimes
I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

It's amazing how much such small things can affect you... and you just cant seem to do anything about it... and when you look back at what happened, you can't seem to figure out what went wrong... you apologize, but you don't seem to know what you are apologizing for...

The sky was blonde like her
It was a day to take the child
Out back and shoot it.
I could have buried all my dead
Up in her cemetery head
She had dirty word witchcraft
I was in the deep end of her skin.
Then, it seemed like a one car wreck
But I knew it was a horrid tragedy.
Ways to make the tiny satisfaction disappear.

Blow out the candles
On all my frankensteins.
At least my death wish will come true.
You taste like Valentine's and
We cry,
You're like a birthday.
I should have picked the photograph
It lasted longer than you.

Putting holes in happiness.
We'll paint the future black
If it needs any color.

And now time seems to standing still... For every second you have enjoyed previously, it seems to add a second to this period of absolute nonsense... you've like given up hoping that it will stop, cause that just seems to elongate the moment...

I was born a child of grace
Nothing else about the place
Everything was ugly but your beautiful face
And it left me no illusion

I saw you in the curve of the moon
In the shadow cast across my room
You heard me in my tune
When I just heard confusion

All because of you
All because of you
All because of you
I am...I am

What happens when your daily source of happiness, the one thing that keeps you occupied all day suddenly seems to be the cause of your unrest... you dunno what to do about it... it's no ones fault...

Dont say words youre gonna regret
Dont let the fire rush to your head

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I dont need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, I can read your mind

So you just wait... it will pass... it will pass... it will...

Holding onto patience, wearing thin,
I can't force these eyes to see the end.
If only time flew like a dove,
Well we could watch it fly, and just keep looking up.

This time we're not giving up,
Let's make it last forever,
Screaming "Hallelujah".
We'll make it last forever...

{
Tracklist:
Danny Elfmann - The Little Things
The Bravery - An Honest Mistake
Marilyn Manson - Putting Holes In Happiness
U2 - All Because of You
Paramore - Hallelujah
}

Going... going... going... gone.

2009-04-01T23:13:00.001-07:00

"We must not shed tears. That is the defeat of the body by the heart. Because for us, this thing called the 'heart' can become nothing less than proof that one's existence is superfluous."

- Kuchiki Rukia

Ze One

2009-03-25T04:58:00.000-07:00

Deseo.. Désir..Wunsch.. Desiderio.. Desejo.. Желание.. Wens.. Επιθυμία.. Lust

.. رغبة .. 欲求.. 욕망.. 欲望.. Taṇhā..

So many words... one desire...

Chow... tc... peace out...

Patience,,,

2009-02-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

"I like walking in the rain, because then no one knows im crying..."

- some random genius of a person

Promise...

2009-02-10T11:24:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I've seen this look before
Done a thousand times and a million more
How many lies did he tell this time?
How many times did he cross the line?
It won't help me but I have to ask
Is there something real that's behind the mask?
Something true we don't know about?
A little faith in amongst the doubt

I'm sure I've played this scene before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I'm sure I used to hold your hand
Did I hurt you?
All this attitude with no history
All this anger when you're attacking me
Got a lot to learn and you need to know
That your time is up kid, let it go

yeah the haircut's hot
But this has gotta stop
Good shoes won't save you this time
I think you're gonna find
With everything combined
that the time's running out of this line

A little piece of me grows old
I keep on walking down this road
I've seen a million people change
but I will stay the same
And I know you,
always steal and borrow
And I know you,
Never catch, never gonna catch tomorrow!!

Burger dope...

2009-02-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

Fresnel and Fraunhoffer finally had enough of us.. we decided to give them a break.. 7 Bees.. what kinda name is that.. i mean 7 days is lik OK.. 7 Bees??? Ah heck, the food was great.. burgers with cheese wings and a float which literally.. well.. floats!! All kinda ancient but nice music streamin into our ears.. which reminds me..

It's true! My wallet IS on a diet plan or something.. consider that it loses around 200 bucks a day. But it's like a Spore, one of the Varmirons i think.. or some from the planet k0k.. it like evolves! Just last week it found a butterfly wing. Hah, i shall name it Sephiroth.. the one winged angel! Only Materia won't seem to like it too much.

If you close your eyes, and let someone hold your hand and guide you to your destination, it's supposed to teach you trust. That's something i already had, it was just reinforced today. And the moon was like a catalyst, like shining it's weak, enticing aura of calm................................................. the night was beautiful.

At Peace...

2009-01-31T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today was a nice day.. a day when you look back in time.. a day for reminiscence.. a day for pondering over useless but entertaining ideas..

After a 2 hr rendezvous at the official Saturday hangout, and a bitta influence of 60mls, not to mention a 4 n half hr phone conversation, i feel pretty damn awake! 4 in the morning is an amazing time to do some thing thinking, thinking of random nonsense, dreams, possibilities... you can't imagine the satisfaction it gives you.. and it helps when you have someone to help you remember, to put those thoughts in place, to try and arrange that mess in your head to create some absolute masterpiece...

Ah, no ppl.. i am NOT high.. i am just at peace..

Chow.. TC.. Peace out.. actually forget the "out" for today.. just peace..

P.S. The walk shall continue, no matter what hardship it faces. The way of the walk is unperishable and it is not in our hands or anyone elses to stop us from walking "the walk".

The show must go on...

2009-01-12T01:36:00.000-08:00

And so we return, to the place where i am "supposed" to become an "engineer", to the place where the net is so bad, you are desperate enough to steal other ppls IPv4s just to avail of some downloads, to the place where my blogging was officially revived, to the place where movies are watched at the rate of 3/day, the place where stygwyr silences rikimaru (theyr on the same team btw :P), the place where pepsi and happydent is consumed simultaneously to try and negate each other's ill effects, the place where...

Ok, sry sry... got carried away...

I-ON has improved, to some extent at least. Chances are that we can GG... hopefully... we'l try at the library next. And the sunday dinners are resumed... Ms. Jamiaca's fascination for cheese lives on... Pretty much everything seems the same...

That's till classes started... The Phy cycle looks to me lik living hell... i got lab tonight... yes "TONIGHT"!!! We got like only 3 public holidays for the whole sem, so won't b home for long...

That's it for now... will be back when i find "time" in this shit "time"table... (Oh there it is, found it! :P)..

Chow... tc... peace out!!

1.. 2.. 3..

2009-01-07T11:12:00.000-08:00

Just heard of some website that helps you pick out topics to blog about... that's bullcrap... theres no point writing crap abt somethin which you don even care abt... but i wonder y im writing this then... grrr.... self introspection can be such a pain sometimes...

I was just going through my blogroll... kicked out a few guys... sry ppl... either u jus don blog frequently enuf or have moved witht tellin me! Few newcomers too... Plus this blog seems to have like been dying of in terms of content... irritatin... See this is the kinda thing you do at midnight when you got absolutely nothing to do and no one to talk to... the fact that you have work to do really doesn make a difference coz you won't do it in such a bored situation anyway... u need some drive... like a deadline... which i do have... but anyway...

3 facts... personal opinions and musical tastes more like... but just thought il let y'all know anyway...

Elton John might b gay but he sure as hell knows how to play the piano...

Modeselektor are by far the most insane electronica band ever... the things they can do with circuit bending and synths ummmaaaze me... you should pay special attention to the bar visualizations when you play one of their songs... thats an art by itself..

And finally... The Bravery are one classy band... they kinda fuse all the classics with a nice modern beat n all...

Chow... tc... peace out...

Nonsensical Musings...

2008-12-30T17:52:00.000-08:00

Now if you start asking me how on earth i came up with this... please don't... this is what you get if you put a mad arse... correction... a lazy mad arse on a 6 day trip to the middle of nowhere and make him spend new year's day on a train...

I'm against arranged marriages... at least dead set against the kind of institution established in India... it's seriously nonsensical if you can even think about marrying someone you don't even know yet... everything becomes a damn formality... you try to suppress all kinds of dissatisfactions that arise... it is true that knowing a person too well ain good for a marriage... but still... what the hell... absolutely no point not knowing...

P.s. Please... im begging you... if you haven't already... DON'T... seriously DON'T read The White Tiger... my blog has a better chance of winning the booker... the whole thing is one big *beep* joke... you shouldn't write an impression of a country based on what you see or believe... its total rubbish..

Chow... peace out...

A Bleeding Nose...

2008-11-20T17:46:00.000-08:00

Someone should do a research paper on the type of fauna that can be found near the loo of our dorms... they'd probably win the Nobel or something for discovering 30 new species of grasshoppers or so...

Someone should tell Iron Maiden to look at the timetables of the general school and college population before deciding to tour India... It would fetch them at least a few million more fans...

Someone should realize that Bangalore's streets are small enough and they don't need to start stupid rallies which make not only their's, but everyone's lives miserable... i wouldn't want my 10 year old brother to have to walk back 20km from school...

Someone should pose a decent threat to India's cricket team... It's irritating i tell you, plain irritating to see Dhoni gloat in so much glory...

Someone should realize that when you aren't paying for your bandwidth, it's considered polite not to restrict your uploads... I wouldn't want my torrents to have no peers...

Someone should realize that the default fonts in Ubuntu are just plain boring and should be improvised... It's just not nice to see your favorite web pages in weird font...

Someone should realize that the world needs more places like DeeTee, and actually end up opening a whole chain of nice restaurants... Anywhere, Nowhere, Somewhere would be a good place to start...

Someone should stop blogging this nonsense and get back to his freaking Electrical book... or he's gonna have trouble on Saturday morning... loads of it!

Chow... tc... peace out!!

Must-hears for metallo-maniacs..

2008-11-17T00:33:00.000-08:00

This is quite a recent list so plz don't ask y all the classics are missing..

1. Children of Bodom - Are You Dead Yet

2. Slipknot - Sulfur

3. Samael - High Above

4. Roadrunner United - Army of the Sun

5. Priestess - I Am The Night, Colour Me Black

6. AFI - Miss Murder

7. Nightwish - The Poet and the Pendulum

8. Marilyn Manson - You And Me And The Devil Makes Three

9. Blind Guardian - Another Stranger Me

10. Avial - Nada Nada

Do excuse me for not including some very famous recent artists... mayb theyr just not in my good books.. tried to cover as many of the metal genres as possible.. plus the last one is actually an indian band..

Spontaneous combustions... not caustic embrittlement!!

2008-11-13T20:23:00.000-08:00

It's amazing wad u can do with 21 rupees and 50 paise (to b exact).. Dez's innovation comes veri handy in such situations... like yea, usin a tissu paper to tie ur hair.. or a pack of mint to keep ur battered nd broken cell in :D.. at some point we ver desperate enuf to go down on our knees to search for a 50 paise coin in a public bus from udupi to manipal.. yes, 50 PAISE... nd what were we doin in udupi?? now that brings us to a whole new story..

Its ummmazin how motivating a factor mosquitos can be ( Dez, u spelled that wrong in ur blog :D ).. wen u have a brain like hers comin up with random ideas such as going to udupi at 9 in the night, "It's Not That Hard To Imagine".. nd so we embarked upon that epic journey.. a journey riddled with omens lik a poster saying "Don't Be a Bakra!", the road literally "ditching" us, a shopkeeper practically throwing us outta his shop for god knows what reason, Dez's phone randomly coming up with the message "NOT FOUND" when we are searchin for our last 10 buck note that would decide our fate..

When uv been cooped up in your room for 2 whole days, tryin to study but nothin relevant whatsoever enterin your brain, and with random nonsensic thoughts irritatin and pissin u off, a little spontaneous thinking can do wonders for ur mood, right Dez?? :D

P.S. And to think Minomi wz responsible for all this..... :P

U gotta listen to these...

2008-11-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

1. Chromeo - Fancy Footwork (Guns n Bombs Remix)

2. Junkie XL ft. Lauren Rocket - More

3. Datarock - I Used To Dance With My Daddy (Karma Harvest Remix)

4. The Heavy - That Kind Of Man

5. Junkie XL ft. Electrocute - Mad Pursuit

6. Electro Stimulation - Automatic Lover

7. David Guetta - Love Don't Let Me Go (Walking Away)

8. Modeselektor - Dancing Box

9. My Federation - What Gods Are These

10. Reverend And The Makers - Open Your Window

Happy Buuuuurthdaaay!!

2008-11-03T11:11:00.001-08:00

Happy birthday to meeeeee...
Happy birthday to meeeeee...
Believe me, iv gone crazeeeeeee....
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

The day piggy-banks went extinct..

2008-11-03T10:06:00.000-08:00

It's crazy.. Insane, i tell u.. forget tryin in vain to grasp on to your cash.. how on earth is someone supposed to concentrate on things such as "studying", when you have everything from sweet-corn to chats available right outside your damn dorm!! Seriously.. u start wondering wether drugs are lik the worst kinda addictions.. coz lime soda or pepsi seriously giv them some good contest..

And now.. lime soda.. something lik 25 different flavours.. approximately 50 steps from your room.. 10 bux a glass..

Scary..

No wonder piggy banks went extinct..

Chow.. Tc.. Peace out..

Drunk on soda..

2008-10-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

Hangover's suck... esp wen u didn't drink at all. Dee Tee was an awesome place too loose your mind on a Saturday evening, esp wen ur with some of your best pals around. Aatman makes on helluva DJ, but i guess i'l neva own his collection :( Imagine Another Brick In The Wall blaring from an awesome set of speakers, bhai n me going totally nuts, Dez watching with an amused expression, Nag fooling around with the seniors.. sigh.. it was a good night. But as I said.. hangovers really really suck.. Chow.. Peace out..

Minutes past midnight,,

2008-10-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

Actually it's nearly an hour since midnight now, but here i am.. really really drunk from the post-"Editorial Board selections" celebrations (drunk on coke.. now don't let your minds wander.. sheeesh..), still sorta reeling from the after effects of Mandy Moore's super cute face. No wonder im still listenin to "Someday We'll Know" and switchfoot. Sigh..

The first meeting of Ed Board (that's what were officiallly called.. i guess.. i hope..) was pretty fun.. considering im the only first year on the team.. The Ed (editor) was pretty chilled out.. expects us to be workin on night shifts.. having fun over editing and sorting out articles.. poring over pics.. pretty fun i guess.. and i'm gonna have xtended perm!!!!! AWESOME!!

Nag is still his usual crazy self.. still recovering from Arsenal's loss i guess.. Dez.. haven seen her in a while (a day i think... thats long..), Ash i still sittin n tryin to figure out y I-ON has a grudge against him, other than watching movies 24/7.. Appan been busy with MobiVis.. takin a break from our midnight Halo sessions.. so yea.. lifes pretty normal in MIT..

Anyway.. no lecture til 9 tmrw.. so i can risk a late night.. but not too late.. considerin i actually slept through comp pracs.. so ciao.. tc.. peace out..

His holy kung-fuiness continues..

2008-09-18T05:07:00.001-07:00

Must you have battle in your heart forever?

The bloody toil of combat?

Old contender, will you not yield to the immortal gods?

That nightmare cannot die, being eternal evil itslef - horror, pain, chaos:

There is no fighting her, no power can fight her, all that avails is flight.

Saving sunshines...

2008-09-16T05:16:00.001-07:00

That cursed evening.. i still remember it like it was yesterday.. one fateful leap.. and she ripped.. my heart broke.. everytime i see her now.. it reminds me of that evening.. i couldn't stand it any more.. GOD!! I HAD TO DO IT!

And so i decided.. today was the day.. i went to God.. asked him if he could.. if he could... "save" my sunshines.. he said, "of course i can, i AM god.. but.. there would be a price to pay".. The thought of having her back clouded my judgement.. WHY????? Why did i agree to it??? AAAARGH!! and so i endured the most horrifying 5 minutes of my life in MIT.. i had to endure the pain of watching her being sewn together.. stitch by stitch.. everytime his needle went through her skin.. it felt like a knife was being pierced through my heart... and now.. when i look at her.. i see those scars.. and i regret my choice.. she will never be the same again.. never.. never...

P.S. Those of you who want to know who i'm talkin about.. ask ash.. but id advice you not to... seriously..

His Holy Kung-fuiness says..

2008-09-08T00:22:00.001-07:00

Yesterday is history, tommorow is a mystery, but today is a gift... thats why it's called the present.
- Master Ooguey

Makeover..

2008-09-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

This blog needs a makeover.. me n ash were jus discussin an ideal blog name... all sortsa stuff from im*dash*.com to iforgotthenameofmysite.com ... an then we finally realized that ywesaywhatwesay.com is *dash* enuf. Jus got a new applet on the sidebar which actually allows u to blog from ur desktop... no wonder im bloggin now. Y do u think i wud be randomly bloggin.. unless i was *dash*.. yea thats a possibility.. i mean which sadass wud blog his way to death wen he has underwear washin nd a mechanics assignment pending.. sigh.. jus shows the extent of my *dash*... sigh.. ok before i sign off and stop trublin u with my *dash*.. ok i forgot what i was gonna say... fuck... this *dash* is gettin to me..
tc.. chow.. peace out..

P.S. jus in case ur wonderin

1. *dash* = *bore* in all tenses and whatever

2. whoever read this blog to get this part must be totally *dash*.. jus like me.. so i advice u to text me..

3. hi to all my ancient blog friends.. haven been able to check ur blogs for a while..

4. don expect any more philosophical stuff on my blog... *dash* is officially gonna be my most used word..

5. and now before i spread this *dash* fever... goodnight.

Passion's Killing Floor...

2007-09-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

Damn.... its been ages since i posted :D ... don have regular access to da net so hey! don blame me.... anyway.. don have much time... but i wanted to post this reli reli reli reli reli awesome song.... its by a band called H.I.M .... and its PURE EVIL!!! :D :D :D

It's poetry carved in flesh
It's beautiful hell with us.
To the deadly sin we confess
(And tears of joy fill our eyes)

We are safe with this bigotries
My out there prophecies of doom

My heart's a graveyard baby
And to evil we make love
On our passion's killing floor
In my arms you wont sleep safely
And of lust we are re-born.
On our passion's killing floor.

At the first kiss the seeds
of hatred are sown
Back into darkness we flee
To tear our hearts out.

We are saved where all fates fail
The light inside of our tomb.

My heart's a graveyard baby
And to evil we make love
On our passion's killing floor
In my arms you wont sleep safely
And of lust we are re-born.
On our passion's killing floor

My heart's a graveyard baby
And to evil we make love
On our passion's killing floor
In my arms you wont sleep safely
And of lust we are reborn
On our passion's killing floor

(My heart's a graveyard baby)
Ooohhh my heart's a graveyard baby
On our passion's killing floor
(In my arms you wont sleep safely)
And to evil we make love
On our passion's killing floor
Forever more.
These lies.

Some really amazing metallo-maniacal philosophies...

2007-05-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

"So I lit lanterns,
To light up all these words,
Looking back I know
It's what I'd die for.
And through all of this life,
Smashed away all the strife,
A friendship I paint, untouchable."
36 Crazyfists - At The End Of August

"He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man"
Avenged Sevenfold - Bat Country

"Theres curses lurking in our heads but we don't want to find them,
We need to come back down and face what we've become."
Bullet For My Valentine - Curses

"And it begins anew
The hatred of mankind
As it seeks to kill that which lives inside

Now we are dying,
Dying the slowest death
Held down by bonds that bind us
We breath our final breath"
Killswitch Engage - Inhale

"I fight for the unconventional
My right and it's unconditional
I can only be as real as i can
The disadvantage is I never knew the plan
this isn't just a way to be a martyr
I can't walk alone any longer
I fight for the ones who can't fight
and if I lose, at least I tried!

We are the new diabolic
We are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life, you can have it
We are the pulse of the maggots"
Slipknot - The Pulse of the Maggots

"Leave it all behind it's time to walk away
A predator has a tendency to stalk their prey
With the dawning of the sun awakes another day
Desire that's required to play another game"
Mushroomhead - Kill Tommorow

In The Eyes of God

2007-04-27T02:02:00.000-07:00

One of my random creations...

My heathen mind, fleeing from the dread
Words sublime, i heed voices in my head
For heaven i sought, they took me to the gates of hell
No doubt that I, came, my soul to sell...

One amongst the billion that i know
What more am I??
In the eyes of god,
the eyes of god...

A scar remains, deep within me
What more am I??
In the eyes of god,
the eyes of god...

Like a blade it cuts, a blade true from the start
Like a fire it burns, seeking, consuming the heart
What is this plague? What is this pain I feel?
It's the pain of love, tainted love my dear...

One amongst the billion that i know
What more am I??
In the eyes of god,
the eyes of god...

A scar remains, deep within me
What more am I??
In the eyes of god,
the eyes of god...

The ache, the lust,
the feel, the touch,
the lies, forlorn,
complain i must.

The hate, the pyre
of pure desire,
the flow of joy,
the smile, so coy,

Again and again and again and again,
MY WILL CONSUMES IT ALL!

The Apology...

2007-04-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

I gotta say, our groups gotta be da most freakiest frndz grp eva!~! Well anyway... me, Mog, Sid, nd Anand met up the other day... in Katti Zone of all places :D (dun blame them, my idea :D) .... n we had another one ov our very "philosophical" discussions...

Our talks were filled wid da usual school blues... life in India before the sacred "BOARDS". The mind gradually wandered to what we "could" do after the ordeal... and Mog said that we should all make a commitment to "try" and meet up every year or so after our school lives. Then came Anand's idea of the outting right after 12th. Well both seemed amazing thoughts, so all of them agreed straight away. Me, on my part, said that i would definitely try my best for the next year's outting... however.. the others.. i would see according to the circumstances.

I really do not understand... maybe the way i put it through was wrong or sumthin... but Mog n Sid weren too pleased. They were tryin to reinforce the fact that they onli told "try" ... not that u must. So I decided the best way to put it across would be a blog :D ...

A commitment... to pledge to some thing or someone, promise or agreement to do something in the future, the trait of sincerity and focused purpose. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not. You make a commitment knowing that it is within your ability to keep. When you have a doubt that you can.. then i would rather prefer to withhold it. Since we are meetin up anyway next year (and that we definitely are.... i swear), i thought it would be better sayin for sure next year... than blurtin something which i am not sure of. I am really sorry if i hurt any sentiments... my sincere apologies.

Ok, crap, that was hell too formal.... UNDERSTAND YOU IDIOTS! This is VINE you're talkin too :D ...

Ramblings of an uninterested mind ...

2007-04-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

I was just plain bored.. and i saw that has not been a single entry in my blog in the month of April! Wow... fad must be burning out i guess. Or it could be the other blogs... because I'm definitely developing an inferiority complex now! :D

The past few days has been filled with Sridhar's homework, Shyamili's usual torture and Milind's bouncers. However in that wee bit of free time i get, Terry Goodkind has also been a kind resident of my mind. The Soul of the Fire sure left a strong impression on my mind. Scared me out of my wits! Ending was simply stunning!
And so, all that reading has pretty much obliterated my morale. Sid! Our book seems so crude compared to all these works!

Anyway... all other information undisclosed for security reasons. :D

Unluckily enough, my brain has been devoid of its usual rambling for the past week or so. I won't call it depression, just plain "not-in-the-mood". I was pretty stunned by Ash's posts... simply exhilarating change from his usual sports stuff (Thank God!). Sid has been his usual philosophical self, and Megs, well, i don't know what to say... you're nearly at Sid's level :D!
Another person joined our blogger scene.. i don't know if she's here to stay or not, but people please add Apoorva's link to your blogrolls. Thats one more person in our blog community.

Basically, i had nothing to write about. I blurted whatever was on my mind... please forgive me if there have been any misleading comments :D ... oh yea, i almost forgot! This post has been a wonderful achievement for me... if you observe carefully then you will find something distinct about this post from the rest. I will leave you to work that out.

The Shade

2007-03-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

Megs, Mog... both of u... ummmazin articles! Shit... u go on like this n SAT is a piece of cake!

Sometimes, i wonder... why the hell my views are always different from others... some people say im addicted to standing out amongst a crowd :D ... don't ask me why, maybe that's just the way i am... n i really don't mind being that way.

People say u change, it's inevitable... and its whether you change for the better or for the worse that determines your future... it's a risk, and few reach where they aim. Then why change at all, if you're content with what you are?

Reminds me of japo sometimes :D, true she might be all snobby and all... and that's definitlely not the way a teacher should behave... but she accepts that not being able to be friendly with her students is one of her drawbacks... she tries as much as she can to improve.. but there are limits. And i surely think she's hell content with who she is. What do you think Sid?

As Mog was sayin, our sleepless sleepover on the night after Maiden was as usual as a sleepover could get with sid, anand, me, ash, nd mog. We've had around 4 major ones be4... n i dunno y, but to my utter utter disbelief, all of them are filled with us talkin about philosophies! :D First four hours or so were spent getting beaten up by the others for bani talk :D n the rest... u dun wanna kno! No wonder i slept thru ACE the next day!

I dun think anyone except anand understood me... n what he did understand, i don't think he liked. And why he understood? I really really dunno y... but me and anand have this weird power of understandin each other totally :D!! Ask him if u want!

I really don't like preaching... im not too good at it either, ull c :D! Im pretty sure mog was unsatisfied with my explanations that day, same with sid.... hope ull realize some day.

The Maiden Mania

2007-03-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

30,000 metal-heads gathering in a city like Bangalore.... it was an event not to be missed by maiden fans and metal maniacs alike. As the pioneers of the heavy metal genre descended upon the city with Eddy leading the way, the crowd soon realized that every rupee they paid for coming here was worth it.

Days before the event, the Maiden mania had already been settling upon the population. Gossip topics were ditched, Iron Maiden was the talk of the town. Banners all over the streets and ads in newspapers proclaimed their arrival. Bunk classes, bunk exams, BUT BE THERE FOR MAIDEN!

The crowd had begun gathering since 10 in the morning, although the gates were not to be opened till 3 pm. It was hard to recognize people amongst the sea of black Iron Maiden t-shirts. I preferred to stand out in white... the blazing noon sun was too hot for my liking. Personally, i don't know how those people survived.

By 3, the line had finally started moving. Once inside, people flooded to the refreshment stalls. For the forthcoming 3 hour wait, people had little better to do than load themselves up with fluids in retaliation to the uncaring sun. The chat centers too must have made one helluva profit that day. By 5, the chants of “Maiden” could be heard all over the grounds.

The first show was a let-down. As the Campus Rock Idols winners, FTN took the stage the crowd was so non-responsive, that i feared i was in for a boring night. The vocals too, failed to rouse the crowd. I mean, what the hell would shouting “BANGALORE!” in some guttural tone prove???

By the time Parikrama arrived, the crowd was so bored that the Maiden chants had started all over again, although they knew that that wouldn't happen before 8 in the night. They underestimated Parikrama though. With their amazing mix of fusion and funk rock, they stole the show.

There is nothing much to be said about Lauren Harris. I mean, i dunno who the heck she was or what a pop-singer was doing in an Iron Maiden concert. The crowd had had enough. The braves attempted jumping the barriers dividing the 900's and 1500's while others just resigned and lay flop on the ground.

At 8 sharp, the lights on stage went out. This was the signal Bangalore had been waiting for a week. The chants took a new meaning all together... yet Maiden did not show for another 15 minutes. Once they did come, the whole stadium went pitch black. The crowd went wild. Eddie's figure could easily be made out now, atop the huge Russian tank on stage. A rolling start was followed by one of their most popular songs from their new album, Different Worlds. The crowd did not hesitate to sing along. In some like The Trooper and The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg, the crowd could be heard more than Bruce, irrespective of the huge two-story speakers.

The show was marked by some senseless show of greed, as some broke down the barrier. The police watched on helplessly as the 900 crowd flowed to mingle amongst the 1500's, trying to get as close to the stage as possible.

The most memorable part would have been Fear of the Dark. The whole stadium was singing along as one. Near the end, Maiden took a short break. Some people exited believing that the show was over. But loyal fans stayed. And they weren't let down either. 10 minutes later, they started again with Hallowed Be Thy Name. Head bangers had a party, returning with a sore throat and an aching neck, but more than satisfied.

In all, the Iron Maiden concert was one helluva success, pulling fans from all over the country. Not only did Maiden recognize this, but also promised that within a year, they would be back, and India had better watch out!

Roadies 4 Review

2007-03-02T21:57:00.000-08:00

Got this review from another blog.... This is definitely not written by me.... but had to pos it..... loved his description!

Group of mean youngsters. All of them
out on a paid holiday. Armed with a license to bit*h, shower
profanities, ride the Karizma bikes across the country, and compete
with each other to be declared the hottest sucker. MTV Roadies Season
4 was a total disappointment. It was a show where the competitors
were not good enough and end of the day the whole thing was a
’no-show’.

Loaded with undignified catharsis,
roadies pulled youngsters to view the show (including me. I
watched every episode of Season 4). Howling girls was nothing unusual

in this show. Butit was sad to see men become
bit*hes. All of them
wanted money. None of them was displaying the character of roady!
(except of course Rupaali. She is so sweet).

Believe it or not. It was a pogrom. A
bloody pogrom. Nothing else. Bani and Anthony, together they
organized it. All through the show they were together. With luck on
Bani’s side the two contestants for Roadies 4 soon became winners.
Anthony was the chosen one. Bani was the un-official winner. The two
love birds played the most fantastic game one has ever seen. Anthony
like butter continued to titilate everyone’s taste-bud till the
cholesterol in their veins choked them all to an attack.

13 Roadies. All armed with a gregarious
facade played the game of eliminating each other. They were never
together. Except of course the love-birds. The show (when it started
as Season 1) was quite cool. It was a new concept. Though with season
4 of Roadies the show reached a cul-de-sac of its original sense. In
my opinion the recently culminated season was devoid of any gumption.
But even then it was fun.

Despite sonorous claims that the
episodes of season 4 were less less interesting, caused dolorous
viewing, I admit being an addict. Every Saturday, at 7 pm, like a a
honest and a dedicated viewer I would humbly switch on my television
and press the MTV button.

The roadies, since its inception in
2003 was meant to pick from a chosen lot a guy or a gal who rocks.
The winner should have an undying love for adventure, should be a
fun-freak, team person, loaded with attitude, individuals and tough.
The judges went around the country picking suitable contestants.
Every direction they went hoards of losers clangered around in
masses. Some were so desperate that they traveled across cities to be
on the show. Other simply wanted to try out their luck or have fun.
No wonder, most of them were clueless.

The jury was the worse. Just to check
if a person was tough they would throw weird tantrums. And they were
really soft on girls. Grow up guys. Be real. They picked up many
losers. For instance Raj. During the interview he claimed he was not
a virgin. But when he gets married he would make sure that his wife
is a virgin!! Double standards or what?

The contestants were required to
perform various tasks while they traversed the various corners of the
country on Karizma. The tasks were not difficult but at times
required the display of team spirit, strength of an individuals and
blah blah.

At the end of every episode a
contestant was eliminated. Not surprisingly just before the
elimination the entire team would break into closed groups, making
strategies to eliminate the sharpest contender. There was total lack
of trust. Nothing new, sh*t happens and it happens in everyday life
too.

Bani and Anthony. Both an aitam. I
would not be surprised if soon he proposes Bani. A complete witch,
Bani professed being a psycho. She would scheme to eliminate all the
female contenders, act weird and scream profanities. Probably she was
an insider. MTV it seems planted her.

But if she was not an insider then she
schemed really well. Always vocal, masqueraded beneath her outbursts
was the love for Anthony.

The real winner was Anthony. No other
guy was as different as this young man was. Anthony, the cool dude
even cried just before being pronounced as the hero. Thats a real
roadie! He cried not for himself but for Bani.

Someone from MTV claimed that the
contenders for the season 4 are tougher than their earlier
counterparts. I guess thats a farce. If men becoming b*tch*s and
girls screaming profanities is a sign of toughness...then I humbly
disagree.

I am waiting for the next season to
begin. Absolutely love this show. But I guess MTV needs to do better.
Good contestants, with fighting spirit, need to be on the show. Not
losers, grumblers or schemers

The whole Indo-English story

2007-02-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

I have never seen such a shitty (picked up that word from Bani’s vocabulary, :D) English exam paper in my entire life. The paper is for 90 marks, and 40 of those allotted to the literature segment! And what to they test in the literature segment??? Bits and pieces of a story by Narlikar, the rhyming scheme of a poem which you have heard only once in your life, and utter rubbish by Lester Brown (god only knows who the heck that guy is, still haven’t bothered to look up the English text book, :D).

I used to think that the Indian standard of English being taught in schools was bad. Well, guess what??? I change my mind! It’s absolutely HOPELESS!!!

Can any one tell me what is the whole point of memorizing the sequential order of events of a story, written by some author that you never might be interested in reading again, because his works were featured in the NCERT textbook?

The British curriculum segregates nearly 100 marks, yea 100 marks (that’s like a whole new paper), for grammar alone. Literature gets the least importance. People would think that instead of trying to teach us English, NCERT would be promoting and publicizing an author’s works!!! C’mon!!! This is a school!!! You’re supposed to teach us something, not let us have 6 free periods a week (I wouldn’t exactly say that part is bad though, :D)!!!

Radical ideas do not change humanity.... only ethical ones do.

2007-02-23T02:44:00.000-08:00

Although very revolutionary, Avaneesh, I really can't imagine how that idea would work in reality. You see, it's true that man would have no meaning at all if he didn't have hardships to overcome. However, we have enough errs in this world, even excluding that small, lingering threat of terrorism. Ridding the world of this wouldn't make our lives any easier. But letting it take a toll of millions of lives only reduces the population who would be willing to do anything constructive against other evils. Unless of course, you go back to your radical ideas.

As is my title, in reality, I do not believe radical ideas have the magnitude to change the ways of humanity, only ethical ones do. If you say, that the present day generation is responsible for all that is being done to the world, then the only real solution would be creating a better generation after us. And how is that possible, if our generation is the one to teach them?

You can participate in a million campaigns which aim at bringing down the birth rate, which would in its due course take years to complete. But in the same time, the death rate would also be dwindling and all our efforts would have gone to waste. The more radical solution to bring down the ills of over-population would be to gather all the people in the world below the poverty line, in a deserted region, and nuke them. In that way, you could say we're getting rid of over-population and poverty at the same time. Thats like two gigantic scratches erased from your Biology record. However, we live in a world where ethics overpower logical reasoning, and that does not allow us to do such a thing. So unless we resolve this attitude to an extent, such that we can put down emotional traumas for a greater need, our race is slowly degenerating by itself, which I believe is the true course nature intends us to take.

The Slasher lives within me.......

2007-02-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

I wonder what the average Indian teenager finds interesting in the television these days. By the way, for the girls... unless u comment otherwise, I will assume soapies such as our beloved "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi" make your heart throb. Friends, The O.C, Everybody Loves Raymond.... and for the more adrenaline pumped fellows, maybe a bit of Pimp My Ride or the usual sports gimmicks. Wonder why cartoons should be shunned then?

The Japanese have always had a knack for marketing their own countryside legends. This one is no exception. Kenshin Humura, or Batusai the slasher…….. in lay man terms, Samurai-X. A wonder of creation, this thriller packs an archaic reality-based fiction with philosophies so deep, u gotta dig in to understand.

For the more “advanced” readers (:D), here was an argument I picked up off boards… Is the legendary slasher still the best swordsman in the job…. or has Shogo or Shishiyo denied him that glory.

"Shishio Makoto: Do you think Shishiyo would have survived the 'Amakakeru Ryū no Hirameki' if Kenshin had slashed him with the swords he used before? Shishiyo might have fought all the others, but so did Kenshin. His job was much harder to accomplish. Not only did he have to defeat the likes of Ayoshi and Seijuro but also change their hearts, which was even harder.

Shogo Amakusa: He might have taken Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryū to Super God speed but Kenshin with his 'Dragon Flight of Heaven' proved that he was the fastest. Shogo might have had the opportunity to finish Kenshin off. But don't you think that there was something that was holding Kenshin back. He cared for Shogo and could feel his pain, that is why he was ready to sacrifice himself. But when it came to protecting the life of Shogo's followers he had no option but to defeat him.

Saitou Hajime: He fought with Kenshin for years but was disappointing against Shishio. That proved he wasn't the strongest either.

The only one that I presume would have come close to Kenshin's strength is his master Hiko Seijuro. He was the one who nurtured him and made him who he was.

Three great statements from the Anime are enough to prove that Kenshin is the stongest.

Shishiyo: 'The week shall die and the strong shall live.'
Kenshin: 'My will to live is stronger than yours, its stronger than anything else.'
Shishiyo: 'The will is only as strong, as the person it is in.'"

Anti-terrorism... and why we should forget about it!

2007-02-21T23:43:00.000-08:00

Human society, from origin until now, has always been at war, may it be within or between two religious communities, societies or nations themselves. An important point to note is that nearly all these conflicts have arisen due to competition between two factions. The World Wars for example, has its root cause hidden in the motive of Germany to usurp the United Kingdom's position in the world economical and military status. Similarly, in the case of terrorism, I strongly believe that Western interference in the functioning of the Muslim majority middle-eastern countries is to blame for the various recent outbursts which manifest themselves in the form of terrorist attacks. This has come to harm many innocent lives, which had no say in the matter.

The United States' invasion of Afghanistan, or Iraq proves my point. Before the Iraq invasion, the country may have been ruled by a tyrant who mercilessly ordered 148 Kurdish people to the gallows. However, to bring down one dictator, we rendered thousands of other human lives worthless, by allowing such a war to happen. The media had their share of the fun, months worth of headlines to print, and a dozen more pictures or videos of Saddam's execution to leak out into online video sharing websites. But in the end, terrorism still roams free, not in the hearts of the innocent, but in the minds of the

Human tendency is to oppose, what is ordered, want, what is forbidden, and take, what is necessary. By showing the middle-eastern community that the United States' has the power to bring down nations, does not help us to counteract this threat by terrorism. In fact, they are urged on to prove to the world that they cannot be put down by one nation alone. Attacks on other nations have shown that terrorism is a world wide threat, more so because other countries allow such powers to act irresponsibly on behalf of the world.

I do not say that we heed the threats of such violence, or we give in to such radicals, but only that we act wisely before risking another few thousand lives in Iran. Enough of blood has been spilled in the war against terrorism... I only plea that we shed no more.

Why Bani never wore black on the final episode of roadies...

2007-02-20T20:40:00.000-08:00

A million other voices all across India resonate the same question. Why Bani? Why? Why didn't you wear black in the final episode of the MTV reality series, Hero Honda Roadies Season 4?
When you look back at our all cho chweet final episode, we recall what was the reply when Swathi asked her the same question. Here came the reply, “Because I did not know whether it would be a vote out or a vote for the winner”. All too soon Poonam was down upon her, “Oh you knew it all, Bani”. Yea, she pretty much knew it all, I must say.

She did know that only Anthony and herself were left. She did know that she wouldn't give a damn if Anthony won the show anyway. She did know, that of all people, ignoramuses like Poonam, would not win anyway.

And that my people, is why she didn't wear black.

Reality shows have been the latest sizzle in the entertainment. Who cares if Shilpa Shetty won Big Brother man? We still got to see the other idiots “race” (get it??? racism!! =))) themselves to a superb loss. Me, I'm definitely not the one who would waste hours in front of a 29 inch screen watching staged spoofs. But Roadies, brought out a whole new meaning for the word “mind-blowing”, and I guess they owe most of their success to that amazing teenager from Chandigarh, Gurbani Judge.

She was the one thing on the show which didn't piss me off. I mean, who comes across a girl like her nowadays. In a world where Karma, means you have to be vegetarian, to save animal's lives, but where stamping a few dozen ants to death everyday doesn't matter, Gurbani Judge becomes an epitome of reality. With that ever present aura of her I-don't-give-a-damn-if-you-hate-me attitude, this girl comes with a lot of spunk. Kamini or not, that goes with your philosophies. If you're that suburban girl-next-door who loves flirting around with college guys, or a household typical Indian Bhabhi... she's not your usual cup of coffee. But for those who want a taste of real life in the big bad world...

we present to you.... GURBANI JUDGE!

Yea mate, and you'd better believe it.